Jan. 4th, 2017

quirkytizzy: (Default)
I....slept. Honest to god, real sleep. Easily nearly 11 hours. I was up briefly at 2:30 but went down shortly thereafter - and didn't wake up until 9:30 AM. I wasn't up and down every hour, I didn't roll around trying to get comfortable. I just...slept.

While I still feel tired (lupus oh lupus), I also feel like a million bucks. At least in my head, which is SUCH A GOOD THING OMG.

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and hugs. It's so easy for me to get stuck in this merry-go-round of "I'm fucked up because I do fucked up things and that makes me fucked up." And nothing good ever comes of that. It becomes this circular trap, a tired piece rhetoric that disorients and traps me. And I do it to myself, which on an intellectual level, is almost fascinating. It's amazing the things we can do to ourselves. One would think the self-preservation instinct would include thoughts and actions that uplift us, not that drag us down.

It's also amazing what other people can pull us out of - and that includes you guys. Thank you. Sometimes the fight does get tiresome - a lot of the times it gets tiresome. Having cheerleaders, people who KNOW things, people who have been through similar if not the same things is invaluable.

One good thing that came of the psych ward stay: The admitting nurse found my glasses, which had been missing for months. It was in the side pocket of my purse. The pocket that I never use, never bother to check. As expected, psych wards have to comb through every item you bring onto the ward, lest you bring in something you can hurt yourself with. Well, a thorough check of my purse turned up my glasses. I was shocked and thrilled. Amazing they hadn't been broken, as I tend to fling my purse every which way when I get home.

Hm. Glasses are a single item, a one-item noun, but they are referred to in the plural manner. Much like the word "pants".

I dun get it.


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