quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Part of why I haven't written is that my thoughts have been less than kind as of late. Call it the kick-off of the #MeToo campaign, but the larger thoughts have been anger, annoyance, exasperation, and bafflement over the various men I have known in my life.

And then I remembered that, hey this is MY journal, goddamnit, I can write what I damn well please, bitching and moaning and looking like a 'feminazi' be DAMNED. I CAN HAZ RANT 2!

(Heard a FABULOUS response to the word "feminazi" the other day. "Excuse me, my vagina and I have to go invade Poland now." Jealous I did not think of it first!)

These things could be considered micro-aggressions, as each and of themselves, it's nothing more than an annoying man making an annoying assumption about my availability. But it's only ever been MEN who pull this shit, who make assumptions about my availability, emotional or sexual, and it adds up.

Rants are as follows:

*DUDE I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO IN 17 YEARS THINKS I'M THE PERFECT PERSON TO HIT UP ON FB AND COMPLAIN ABOUT HIS WIFE.

Do you not have any actual friends? Why do you think someone you got stoned with a handful of times almost 20 years ago is the person to give you the "deep and attentive listening" that you say your wife is not giving you? I'm sure you expected me, a woman, to listen to you while away my precious evenings hours, and comfort you and tell you that yeah, your wife is a bitch, and oh poor boy, she doesn't appreciate you and you don't need to even ASK me how I've been because you "know" I'm such a "good listener" because I'm "a different kind of woman" and HOLY FUCK IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWENTY YEARS I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON OR BAD PERSON ANYMORE. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm your dumping ground - and sure as fuck not 20 years later, dude.

Tits do not equate being your bestie, motherfucker.

* DUDE FROM SCHOOL WHO I HAVE SPOKEN TO FOR FIVE MINUTES HITS ME UP ON FB AND THEN WITHIN TEN MINUTES TELLS ME HE'S CHEATED ON HIS WIFE MULTIPLE TIMES AND MAKES PORN AND HE JUST FEELS LIKE HE CAN TALK TO ME AND DID I WANT TO GET TOGETHER THIS WEEK? FOR SCHOOL, OBVS, LOL!

Seriously, dude, worst. pickup. line. EVER. Why in the hell do you (1) think this is appropriate first discussion material and (2) think that this will make all the ladies fall on your dick? Jesus Christ, at least fucking TRY to sound attractive. This level of crassness cannot POSSIBLY have ever gotten you laid before.

* DUDE(S) I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO IN 15 YEARS, NOT A WORD, HIT ME UP ON FB, TELL ME HOW MUCH THEY WANT TO 'GET TO KNOW ME AGAIN' AND THEN DROP OFF WHEN I DO NOT RESPOND TO THE DETAILED WAYS YOU THINK WE'D "HAVE FUN GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER?"

ALSO RELEVANT: DUDE I NEVER SPOKE TO OUTSIDE OF A GROUP SETTING, AND EVEN THEN NO MORE THAN A COUPLE OF HOURS, SENDS ME AN EMAIL DETAILING THE "DEEP CONNECTION" WE HAVE AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE SO COMFORTABLE "OPENING UP" TO ME, WHICH THEY WILL DO IF I COME OVER TO THEIR HOUSE AND HAVE SEX.

Don't you think I'd an have an opinion on this? Did it even occur to you that I might have an opinion on this? Like, say, BEFORE you decided to go into grossly specific, sexual detail about our imagined trysts? Why did you think I'd be stupid enough not to notice that while you claimed "deep connection" with me, the only thing you want to talk about is sex?

We never had a deep connection. YOU had Dickfeels. Learn the fucking difference.

OVERALL MESSAGE I WANT TO VIOLENTLY STAPLE TO THESE DUDE'S TESTICLES:

You never took more than five minutes to learn A DAMN THING ABOUT ME, but boy if you weren't enthralled with how you felt when you realized I had boobs, smiled, and didn't immediately run screaming in the opposite direction when you hijacked the conversation to be all about you. OBVIOUSLY your hard-on is a sign from the gods on high that we are JUST DESTINED TO BE SO CLOSE AND SOOTHE YOUR RAGING MAN FEELS AND MAN-SWELLING.

You're not that smooth. A fucking toddler can tell exactly just where all this "closeness" and "destiny" and "close discussion" is emanating from - and it's not your sincere-heart-of-all-hearts. Don't patronize me with your blatantly transparent cloy to cash in on a few random conversations in order to feed your ravaging boner.

Your erection is just not that interesting, dude. STOP ASSUMING IT IS.

The sad part is this is just a few of times I've run into this. This doesn't even TOUCH the emotional labor that has been hoisted on me for decades simply because I was born with a vagina. Emotional labor - or shit women are expected to field because we are Magick-Empathy-Fairies It happens so often that it actually takes a SPECIAL level of creeptitude in order to stand out. And I could go on AND ON about more creepy dudes who assumed their cock-stirrings required an IMMEDIATE AFFIRMATION from me.

It's maddening. It's frustrating. It's a never-ending parade of dick marching down Woman Main Street.

#Metoo doesn't even begin to cover it.

Date: 2017-11-08 04:47 pm (UTC)
cmcmck: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cmcmck
And imagine what it was like learning all this just a little later than average!

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quirkytizzy

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