Jan. 28th, 2017

quirkytizzy: (Default)
Stuff kicking around in my head lately:

* Laundry. Laundry has been piling up for weeks, but the two and a half flight of stairs is just too much for my fractured rib. There's a laundry room on this floor, but it's on the other side of the building, which is also a lot on my rib. Jesse's mobility issues have been even worse lately.

* It's a good thing we don't leave the house terribly often, which would require clean clothes.

* I miss leaving the house. Specifically, I miss leaving the house for a job. I miss having coworkers, even managers, that I see daily. I miss making small talk. I miss the familiarity that comes with having to see people near daily, familiarity that does not require deep and meaningful interaction. Just...interaction. Jesse said that's called social contact and it's understandable that I'd miss it.

* I'm a hermit. I can hole up for weeks and be quite content. But it turns out even I need superficial human contact.

* I always thought being unemployed for months and months sounded wonderful. Turns out it's more like being forced to eat ONLY your favorite food for months and months, eventually making even the smell of it disgusting.

* I think my perfect wake up time is actually different now. I used to say 5 AM, but thinking back, it was because 5 AM provided me with three hours of alone time before work. Now that I'm not working, and can get my alone time during any number of hours during the day, suddenly those three hours aren't needed so desperately early.

* Rupert, my new kitten, likes to sleep in trash cans. We've boarded up the kitchen trash but I will still find him curled up in the bathroom trash can. It is very weird.

* Jesse and I have been touching each other much more often lately. We will curl up on the bed and just snuggle, or reach out to squeeze the hand of the other while we walk by. We are hugging a great deal these days. Physical contact that is intimate but not sexual. It is healing and closing distances between us that I didn't even know were there.

* I've taken to sleeping in very, very late. I still go to bed around 8-9 PM, and wake between 3-4 AM. But I only allow myself to rattle around for an hour, then it's right back to bed. I wind up sleeping until noon or later.

* It may be lazy, but after so many months of profound insomnia, it feels like the most amazing thing in the world. Or it may be less lazy and more that my body just needs the sleep, the rest lately. Probably that, too.

* I had hot dogs for breakfast and am astounded at how salty they were. It's funny how when you cut back on salt, you become ridiculously aware of the taste of it in different foods. Still, it was tasty, and because I'm a grown up, I CAN have hot dogs for breakfast.

* I really want to pick up a part time job. Something like 3 days a week, maybe 15 hours total a week. But I'm still in and out of the hospital at least once every month and a half. That does not a stable or good employee make. Still, a girl can dream.

* I'm going to go brush my teeth. The hot dogs were tasty but DAYUM, it feels like I gargled half a salt shaker and then chased it down with the rest of the salt shaker. Then it's back to bed, clean teeth and all.

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