quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
I do not like Wellbutrin. I don't like....not feeling. Anything. Anything at all. I'm numb.

All of my life I have envied people who have felt numb. I've never been numb. I didn't think it was possible. Not for me. Not for someone whose emotions lived so close to the surface that they spilled over at the slightest tip.

Now I realize that all I had been missing was the right drug - and now I don't care about anything. I don't care about getting help. I don't care about getting sick. I don't care about connecting to the people or pets in my life.

Why should I? What's the point? It's all made of soundproof plastic anyways. I sleep because...why not? What's the point otherwise? This is not depression. This is simply not caring, or feeling a need to care.

I think I'd rather feel suicidal than this. I know I would rather feel suicidal than this.

Reassuringly enough, I am at least still creepy and morbid. I've been craving to watch REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA. Of course, Netflix and Amazon don't have it, but youtube has the music. Call it creepy, but I'm shipping Shilo and Graverobber SO HARD right now.

Going to readjust the Wellbutrin. Gotta get back to me. I mean, hell, do I find this man sexy?

Fuck yes. If I've still got that, then surely I can get back to the rest of it, right?

Date: 2017-06-28 03:27 am (UTC)
franklanguage: (Default)
From: [personal profile] franklanguage
I remember taking Zoloft™ for well over a year, until it didn't work anymore and all it did was make me fart. I begged my psychiatrist to switch me, take me off it, whatever, and he stalled so long that I finally went to a psychopharmacologist who gave me Paxil™. (Also an SSRI, and it was a good bet I'd have an equivalent experience with it.)

WRONG! Paxil made my affect flat, and the shrink was so nonplussed, I totally bailed; at the time, I swore I was done with all psychotherapy, and pronounced myself cured.

(So much for that; I'm currently starting bereavement therapy.)


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