Wordplay

Mar. 30th, 2017 05:02 pm
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
ME: Oh man, I messed up on word tenses in my last post. Damnit. I always get that mixed up. The are/is context, I mean.

JESSE: What about it?

ME: Well, "are" is something you use in the current tense. "Is" can also be used current tense, but there are times when it's best used for PAST tenses, too. It's like how I sometimes have problems with my singular nouns to plural verbs. Basically, I've been mixing up my prepositions.

JESSE: I love having a girl who knows these things, but you do know that after about ten seconds of that explanation, you started to sound like the adults on a Charlie Brown movie?

ME: *laughing a bit* I'm of the school of thought that you can't break the rules without first knowing what the rules ARE.

This isn't completely true, of course. Due to a horrific home situation, Jesse had to drop out of High School and get his GED years later. He has no formal education in writing and yet, through not knowing the rules, it gives him this...creative freedom that others might not have.

He'd be in good company. Many of the greats didn't have a good education, if one at all.

Still, it was a relief to find that you CAN start a sentence with the word "And". You're just told not to in early education because teenagers often abuse the "And". This turns a three page paper into a Nietzschean, nearly one run-on sentence nightmare.

(I haate Nietzsche. I mean, I LOATHE that man. Not for his ideas, as pretentious as they were. I hate him for his writing, his habit of turning a ten word thought into a 500 word paragraph. The man may as well have fucking married the semi-colon and gotten on with it.)

Get to college and find out that YES, you CAN start a sentence with the word "And", so long as you do it right. Then they tell you how to do it right and WHAMMO, you can say "And" anytime you want to, even if it's at the beginning of a sentence.

Allow me a little literary rage towards some bad college teachers I've had.

* Fuck you, Mr. Brannon - the singular "they" DOES EXIST. Writing "his or her" in every sentence that deals with multiple people of unknown or unassumed genders is CLUNKY AS SHIT. And if you're not concerned about how clunky your writing is, you're not a good writer.

* Seriously whaaaat, Criminal Justice professor? You want FULL URL LINKS included in our papers? When was the last time you looked at an updated copy of MLA standards? Like, fucking 1997??!!!

* I know you are a fully educated woman, Miss English Professor at Brown Mackie. But goddamnit, full phrases such as 'majestic ability' and 'statue of beauty' ARE NOT synonyms.

Classes like those, I just sat in silence, did what they said, and allowed my ego about the English language to stiffen when I stepped out of the classroom. Being a writer, a good writer, is one of the world's most attractive things to me. Makes sense, given how sacred I consider the art.

So yeah, wordplay. Almost as important as foreplay.

Naaaah. They're on the same level.

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